Major decision today!!!

Well, a week after my ENT appt. I made a major decision. I am taking a leave of absence for the last 8 days of school. I am going to stay home and rest my voice before my appt. on May 30. Hopefully my cords will be ready for surgery then. It was a very hard decision. If you know me, it takes a lot for me to stay home. I realized today that my students had come so far and learned so much that I feel comfortable taking this time for me. Another hard decision was telling Katie I couldn't take her to the Luke Bryan / Jason Aldean concert. She has not decided what she wants to do yet.

I have to keep reminding myself and my kids this is short term!!!

I am so blessed to work in an environment that allows me to take care of me and supports me while I am there. I also have a wonderful family who are willing to help out any way they can.

Nothing real funny today - just a tough decision day.

Weekend Update!!

Well, I think I see a pig or two in the sky!!! I was quiet for 24 hours on Saturday. It was very strange - Katie even helped because she wanted me to be able to say I did it!! Owen and I had date night. The movie was easy but dinner was surreal - he told the waiter I couldn't talk but I can point. I am lucky he knows me well - ordered everything exactly like I wanted it. We did use the notepad on the Iphone to "talk". I am sure people thought we were just crazy gadget kids (which for those close to us know it is true) One sided conversations are hard but we know it is important to continue.
Funny story from Saturday: Katie asked me how long I would be in the hospital for surgery - I typed in none and that I would come home that day. She said "Oh, your trying to save money by not staying there?" Yes, Katie exactly.
Sunday was not as easy but still did really well. I did have to teach religious ed. but Katie is in my class and helped a lot. Then at Connor's soccer game - I clapped but no yelling even after he made a goal!! Dinner out with the family and I used the phone to chat.
At school, my parapro has started giving me grades at the end of the day. I started off strong BUT it was a field trip - I give myself an F!!! A BIG FAT F!!! Oh, well. Tomorrow is a new day and tonight is a quiet night. I am getting good at texting but auto correct will be the death of me. IF I text with you please be patient. Think of it as a game - What is she trying to say???? My kids are getting really good at translating and I even got a whistle (call me Captain Von Trapp) to call them. They are learning some good skills by talking for me in stores.
I have given up Bunko and Book Club for the next few months. I will miss all my dear friends but I will be thinking of you on Monday nights.
I am glad I have the blog. I like feeling I can "talk" and share the funny stories of my day. Today's funny - a student asked " Mrs. Kenworthy, what is your last name???" Pretty funny since some of my kids think my name is Mrs. Kimberly.

Thanks for reading. Please leave a comment and let me know you stopped by!!

My new normal

I have been very diligent at home staying silent. Of course, there have been times I have had to talk but my goal today is to be silent all day. Hmmm? It will be hard but I am now tracking the times I talk so I will make sure to only talk when needed. Lots of typing and writing today. My wonderful husband found an app that was created for people with speech difficulties and sounded great until we saw the price - $189 - YIKES!!!

Can't wait to see how I do today.

What a trying day

I went to therapy this morning and was so excited about the great news she gave me. She released me from therapy and told me to go to the ENT to get an update and schedule surgery. I called the ENT on the way home and was so excited to find out they could see me today. Finally, we could get a date on the calendar and plan for the summer. Well, don't make plans is the moral here!!! The ENT took a picture and told me he could not even schedule surgery because it was so red and inflamed. I have another appt. at the end of May. Until then, I am on stricter voice rest. I think this scared me quiet!!! UGH!!! It is only for a little while, I can do it.

A new start

I have decided to make a new start at this non talking thing. I decided I have to give up control and let others do it. Okay, my kids aren't making it very easy. They love to ask questions that require more than a yes or no answer. And they love to argue!!!! Today I am taking charge!! I downloaded an app to speak for me. Con and I have tried it out today. Works pretty well but not real loud. They can read it if they need to.

I talk all day at school with frequent breaks but it is not enough. I am putting myself on complete voice rest at night! I saw a friend at karate tonight and used my app - went great. People are understanding and supportive. How lucky i am we have this technology. Here's to using my gadgets to help my health. (hold up imaginary beverage) I knew these gadgets would come in handy.

I also realized at the neighborhood Easter egg hunt that I will no longer be the one to call out events. It is sad to pass on that torch but it must be done.

No more pity parties. I am embracing my new normal at least for a couple of months!!!!

Ruining my social life

UGH!!! I hate making decisions that are good for my voice but bad for my social life. I am actually stepping back from doing things because the environment is too loud or I will be to tempted to talk alot. It is ruining my social life. I know it is a short time in the scheme of life but often feel all alone in the struggle. Yes, I am having a pity party right now. I will get over it and enjoy the solitude but if you can tell me when that would be great???

My First Therapy Appt.

This morning, I woke up on a day off and went to my first voice therapy appointment. My son accompanied me I spent much of his pre school years taking him to speech. The irony did not escape me. I did better on some things and came up with solutions for parts of my life that are difficult. I am now practicing taking a good breath before talking and not stressing my voice - airy. Felt a bit like Monica on Friends asking if I was light and airy - if I have ask than probably not :)! It was a great visit and am ready to practice. However.........

We celebrated little man's 8th birthday at Dave and Buster's today!! Not the quietest environment and ten 8 year olds kept me busy. Luckily, I had my family with me to help. So I made a grown up decision to skip book club tonight. I KNOW I can not be quiet when discussing a book - heck discussing anything - LOL!!! He had a blast and everyone enjoyed themselves so it was worth the sore throat today. Love my little leprechaun. My sweet soon to be double digit girl asked to have her party there - when I said no- she said " Maybe next year when your voice is better. " Love her!!!!

Learned some new info on surgery - It is a a MAJOR decision. My polyp is big according to dr. and therapist. So... if it doesn't shrink (which my type of polyp does not often do :() I will do surgery. The voice rest is MANDATORY. If you talk during the 2 weeks after surgery you can scar the vocal cords which will be permanent damage. I have to be sure I can do it. Gonna have to practice some more self control and let someone else take over. I can no longer do it all.

Lots to ponder the next couple of months and new normals to learn so when I am "fixed" I do not harm my voice again.